I woke up to the sound of silence. My silence spoke a thousand words yet no one ever heard them. My thoughts were screaming at me. They were continuous, overwhelming, depressing. My mind was my first enemy, constantly telling me I will never be good enough.
No one could see my pain. No one could feel it. It felt like silent mental torture killing me from the inside out. I wasn’t strong enough to keep going. I was so broken from my own thoughts I was numb. I wondered was I even alive? I was so broken inside yet couldn’t feel a thing.
I hated waking up every day, sitting there in a room full of people acting as if I was okay. Sitting there smiling away when inside I was drowning in my own tears. I sat there listening to them scream over and over again. I couldn’t take it. There I laid contemplating what I was going to do with my life? Do I mean anything to this world? Who am I? If I’m gone will anyone notice? What is my purpose?
My heart began to beat faster and faster thinking of how worthless I was to the world. My whole existence was a waste of space but if I left, who would follow my dreams?
The only person who can complete them is me. Something clicked. My purpose is to wake up every morning with the intent of fulfilling my dreams.
I was no longer this meaningless, worthless being. I became a person whose silence became my power. That day my silence spoke a thousand words, and only I could hear them. It finally stopped screaming, instead modivating me to continue fighting.
I have the power to control my thoughts. I control the sound of silence.